The Power Of Willpower

It’s greatest when we recognize its limits

A mind is a powerful thing.

Especially once a mind sets its mind to a course of action.

When it wants something bad enough, the mind can direct all of its attention and force to materialize its goal.

The mind prides itself on the power of its mighty will and delights in the exercise of its restraint, dedication, and focus!

Of course, it only works out a solid 4% of the time, give or take 4%.

The pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps power of the human will is one of the most destructive myths we subjugate ourselves to. All humans have agency by evolutionary design, which utilizes some things we could call “willpower.” But it operates within wildly frustrating limits.

Everyone has a unique blend of innate cognition and experience. Even identical twins. This limit puts everyone at a different starting place for every different task. No one controls this. You end up where you end up.

We can, of course, employ our minds to change ourselves and our starting place. But the very tools of cognitive and emotional change are themselves limited by the executive functioning we happen to end up with. No one gets to choose their unique blend of that. Sure, we can exercise and improve our bequeathed frontal lobe’s capacities, but only to the extent, and at the speed, that those, hereto said, happenchance capacities allow.

Acknowledging the limits of our willpower lets us let ourselves off the hook. An accurate understanding of our minds leaves no room for blame and self-flagellation. While still allowing us the potential to make substantial, life-directing changes.

There is nothing we “should’ve” done better. We’re all doing the best we can to find satisfaction and avoid pain, same as every other mammal. If we can’t execute as we wish, we have simply misjudged the difficulty. And likely judged our insides by other people’s outsides in the process.

Even when we have seemingly given up, and stopped trying, we are still acting in our own best interests and defense. The problem is only that the load is too great for that moment. It’s not a matter of fault.

I’m completely convinced of this. I’ve watched it work for me. Without constantly beating myself up for not being more effective, I have more attention to better employ my real agency to all kinds of delightful ends. Including healing myself from chronic blame and crippling shame.

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