Our Culture, Ourselves
Free will revisited
I was thinking about how much I got from my parents, like it or not. I’ve learned all kinds of unspoken manners, attitudes, fears, and reactions from them, in addition to the narratives I know about.
It’s impossible to avoid. The Godfather and The Great Santini are a couple of strong cinematic examples that come to mind. Before we are old enough to know who we are, our parents have already long inhabited many parts of our being, along with many other influences from friends, ads, and our phones. Self is but our unique mash-up of culture and family, compiled with little conscious awareness.
I am never out to absolve ourselves of responsibility for our actions. That’s always 100% ours. But we would do well to absolve ourselves from blame. I’ve come at this a few times here, here, and here, and will continue to come at it because there is a magic key in this understanding that can free us from shame and allow us to grow from automatic reflexes to real choice in how we respond to the world.
Always brilliant, amigo. My wife and I recently discovered that blaming our parents for fucking us up is a terrific way to avoid doing anything about it. On the other hand, noting those unfortunate circumstances but taking responsibility for our current behavior works better.
Yes. NO BLAME ALLOWED !!